I posted this to our farm FB page on 2/24/25.

The picturesque farm landscape is a fundamental part of Vermont’s self identity. But the landscape and culture is being threatened by the indiscriminate chainsaw massacre to federal programs that is currently going on. The chainsaw analogy is apt. It has been used by this administration itself. Around here we use chainsaws selectively to improve forest health by removing dead or sick trees. We don’t cut down the whole forest.

We practice what is called “rotational grazing” This means moving the animals around almost every day to provide fresh pasture. I am not going to lie. This practice takes a lot of work but it has a bunch of benefits to both the animals and the soils. Three come to mind.

1) By moving the sheep around they avoid ingesting whatever parasites might have been pooped out. Intestinal parasites are one of the most challenging management problems for small ruminant producers. Reducing exposure to them reduces losses – of life and of health for the animals.

2) For the soil this has great benefits. The animal manure is spread across the land rather than concentrated in single locations as might be if you just let the animals into a big open space. So the grasses get all kinds of important nutrients and the soil gets healthier, better at water retention and can therefore better weather the ups and downs of drought and flood.

3) By moving the animals quickly across the land they don’t get a chance to over-graze the grass to a nub. Instead some grass blades remain to soak up the sun and regrow the plants. The cycle that results is healthier for the animals, the wildlife, and by extension humans.

The state of Vermont believes that this is so important to the future of our landscape that they give a tiny stipend to those farmers who practice and document rotational grazing. It doesn’t begin to cover the extra cost of farming this way (labor, temporary fencing, time spent tracking the work) but it is a gesture that shows support for caring for the landscape. This is but one of many ways to farm. It is a way that we have chosen that suits our hilly landscape (which is fundamentally inhospitable to crop farming other than hay).

As we move the animals across our hilly land there are many places where our animals can obtain shade but they are sometimes not conveniently located. Last summer had many hot spells and we found that instead of logically moving across the land, we were leapfrogging here and there to chase the shade in order to ensure the animals could get relief from the hot sun. This made much more work for us. And given the trends, it is likely to become a more frequent problem. I hope by now you all recognize that, whatever its cause, things are warming up and farms are on the front line of adapting to those changes.

So we looked into some federal grants that would have allowed us to plant trees and do other improvements that would provide shade in a number of places across the farms where shade is scarce. For a variety of reasons unrelated to the grant we didn’t end up applying this year. We thought we would apply next year when we finish some other projects. Sadly now we are the “lucky” ones. Because the money for these projects has been pulled out from under farmers. The way many of these grants work is that the farmer has to upfront the cost and then get reimbursed.

The actions of this administration – variously paused by courts but not stopped – have violated legal contracts entered into with good faith. Few farmers have the extra capital kicking around to fund such projects. Many small farmers might be covering operating costs but often can’t do these capital projects that give them a leg up. Left holding the bag, we will likely see small farmers go under as they struggle to repay loans. The breach of trust and the abandonment of the people who feed us is heartbreaking.

In Vermont we are blessed with a strong agricultural heritage, a love of the agricultural landscape and a state government that provides significant support to its farmers – often taking advantage of federal programs that support the goals of a cleaner environment, better more humane farming practices, supporting access to local fresh food for people with low incomes – recognizing that small farms can not offer “cheap” food without going out of business. These programs, which benefit us all, are threatened.

The local people who ran federal and federally funded programs, who have supported local farming through thick and thin have lost their jobs or are facing termination. Some of these people have incredible knowledge. They are not just paper pushers but provide technical assistance that is invaluable to a farmer who doesn’t have time to read all the most recent research. The actions of ICE are having a chilling effect on legal immigrants who fear being swept up in some raid. I would hesitate to go to work if I thought I might be detained. If we thought it was hard to find farm help before we have not seen anything yet. Young people, who already faced challenges to access affordable farmland, may well give up in the face of the overwhelming odds.

This story in Vermont is happening in every state that has a farming community (by the way, that is every state). The rug is being pulled out from under farmers across the board, who farm in all sorts of ways. Crop farmers who have exported their grain stand to lose millions and possibly their farms.

I have never wanted to get political on this page – I can agree to disagree on how we spend our federal dollars, though I have some strong personal views. But the current way this is being handled is undemocratic, leaving death and destruction and ruined lives, lacks respect for the basic decency of our citizens and is the worst way to run an organization. I don’t sell the whole flock when a few sheep are not producing. I think about my long term plans and make careful, considered decisions about what to keep and what to move on. There have been no careful decisions about what to keep, only a demoralising gut punch to people trying to feed the world.

Things are happening from which we will not return. Every small farm that goes under will not be replaced by another happy farmer. The numbers won’t work. They have barely worked for a long time. Most farmers have outside jobs which frankly subsidize YOUR food. And in a place like Vermont (or even much of New England), the big Ag farms aren’t going to come in and maintain that landscape. It isn’t worth their time. So, if you like the dairy farms, the hay fields, the vistas, the sheep grazing roadside, getting your food locally from a farmer you know and trust then please pay attention to what is going on. And contact our legislators about your concerns. Fortunately in Vermont we have legislators who are receptive to messaging about caring for our farmers and our landscape but they need to know you support their efforts to right the seriously listing ship.

Please, if you haven’t been paying attention, you didn’t vote or you get your news from only one source look around. Don’t take my word for it – but don’t take your favorite media source’s word either. Farmers are hurting. Take a dive into the issues and look at it from a variety of perspectives. I will add a few links in the comments. Farmers are an amazingly resilient group. They deal with uncertainty from weather and nature everyday. They are adaptable. “Pivot” is often the word of the day for farmers. But lest you forget, they are where your food comes from. If we don’t support them doing their jobs, we all suffer. They can’t hold up the food system without your help.

I love what I do. I love providing food for people in my tiny little world. I love providing pretty pictures and funny animal stories for people. I have acquaintances and colleagues who voted for this administration but I am pretty sure didn’t vote for this bloodbath. I wish I could hide my head in the sand and act as if nothing bad was happening. This is a farm page and so I will leave it here but this isn’t the only sector where bad things are happening.

I am going to call my legislators and then start thinking of how we can chase the shade this summer most efficiently. I do know that it isn’t by taking a chain saw to the trees because they are “inefficient”. Not only do they give my animals shade, they provide sap for our maple syrup. In order to weed out the invasive species I can’t afford to chop down the maple trees. How foolish would I be?

Engage now before it is too late.

but I can’t be unless you can be you!

As I was driving down the road shortly after Trump’s first day executive order redefining sex and gender, a complicated mix of anger, sadness, angst came over me.

I am a cis white relatively healthy female which by definition puts me in a better position than many people in a world of prejudging and racism and ableism even if I have to deal with sexist attitudes towards women (that is another blog). 

I have never questioned that I was cis female but I never quite fit into our societal notions of femininity either. I never owned a Barbie doll. I haven’t owned makeup since I was in theater in high school. As a flat chested woman the notion of a bra is superfluous. I didn’t want children. I married my husband because I love him and it was logistically convenient but before I met him I didn’t think I would get married. Many “women’s” activities make me yawn. Sort of androgynous I guess.

I am an introvert even as I play an extrovert on TV which ironically probably made it easier on me to dance around the edges of societal expectations. I could tell myself “well you just don’t like parties and find people overwhelming”. And to this day I get incredibly annoyed at articles and opinion pieces that declare “women think this” or “women do that” because often I don’t. Including me in their narrow view of “woman” is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Incredibly annoying.

When I was in grad school in the 80s, as lesbians claimed their space in society, I felt comfortable with but not of that community. My older brother called me his “straight dyke” sister.  If there was a box to put me in that probably was the right one. But in the 80s we, as a society,  still had very binary approaches to sexuality and gender. You were straight or gay. Some brave people said “both”. But fundamentally gender was still defined in this duality of either/or. 

If you study biology and are willing to accept that humans are animals then you see a kaleidoscope of biological sexual characteristics in nature that bely these binary notions of sex. If you look at cultures across the world, definitions of what is appropriate gender behavior for “males” and “females” varies. Clearly, we construct these notions and then impose them on people. Sometimes we don’t even know that they have been imposed upon us. For some people they just seem to fit. But for others it is a daily struggle to fit in these limiting categories. And there are people all across a spectrum of how comfortably they fit. It seems to me that it doesn’t matter who sleeps (or doesn’t) with who as long as it is consensual. No harm done, none of my business and no matter how hard I try I can’t come up with a logical, rational reason for wanting to interfere in people’s interpersonal relationships or the way they express their authentic selves unless it does harm to another. I have too many other things to think about or worry about.

As I was driving that day last month, it suddenly hit me, as the LBG movement turned into the LBGT and the LBGTQ+ and so on, people were beginning  to break out of binary notions of gender and sex. Pushing back on binary notions that often pit one human against another for no other reason than “difference”. I have felt a quiet happiness for people who find themselves and feel more comfortable in their own skin. 

 But suddenly I realized that I personally had benefited from this increasing openness. I wore the label “straight dyke” quite comfortably in those days because, while it lacked subtlety, it was a better description of me than many. Gender is a social construct just a sex is a biological one (that is way more complicated than the binary notion I was taught in high school biology) As I look back, the label was an oxymoron that poked at the society created gender roles. That label, however ironic, started to carve a space where I myself felt less awkward for not quite fitting a model of femininity that was dominant. There were other “straight dykes” out there! The more people are able to be who they are, the more I am able to be me. 

But now a cold chill hits me because everything that is going on now is rolling back that openness that allows people to be fully themselves.

Categorizing things can be helpful in deciding how to respond to this complex world, giving us a shorthand to make decisions quickly and efficiently. Does that animal mean us harm or is it safe? Labels can be helpful. I don’t need a life story of someone wearing a Boston Red Sox cap to make a fairly confident guess about  who they are rooting for in the World Series (though I shouldn’t assume because maybe they borrowed the hat from a friend to keep the sun out of their eyes). 

But labels and categories, especially ones that are “either/or” diminish us as well, excluding richness and complexity especially if we use them to suppress another being.  And sometimes accepting that the labels we have are not sufficient to the task of including all people, brings out the otherwise invisible. A society allowing people to be who they are and not some narrow version of themselves allows us to be freer in our own lives, even if we “fit in” with the dominant narrative. So, we both need labels and we need to move beyond them.

I am an old fogey and I get my he/she/they mixed up. And sometimes I wish the world was just easier to navigate. I want things to be simple. But I do a disservice to all the marvelous people who made my life richer if I don’t try to struggle through my own habits. The gift that the LBGTQ+ movement and those breaking gender norms has given me is that I can recognize that it is normal to be different!

What a relief. I am really bad at being somebody else.

I can only dimly imagine what it must be like to be in high school and feel so “othered”. And then go through life feeling on the outs.  My heart hurts for any person who struggles. 

That which threatens anyone who steps outside of the dominant norms of society, also threatens me and every other human being. What diminishes them, diminishes me and the possibilities for me to see the wonderful complexity that is humanity. The effort it takes to live in this world that hates difference when one is  “different” takes energy away from being the most creative and contributing member of society that an individual can be. We miss out on so much when we “other” people. Oh to live in  a society that accepts “difference”  as normal and just a part of who we as a species are. I have learned so much from my LBGTQ+ friends and acquaintances who have been brave enough to be open. 

So this hatred and vitriol and fear and diminishment of people, I just don’t understand. Human beings are a kaleidoscope that is colorful and amazing and ever shifting as we respond to the world around us. Sometimes it is daunting to respond in an open way to “different” but in my experience the benefits far outweigh the workload. And sometimes, you might even find a new part of yourself or a new level of comfort in your own skin. 

As we lose the progress  we have made in accepting diversity, I and every other person loses too. 

I am not worried about me personally right now. I fit enough of the stereotypes that I will “fit in” But I know I owe a deep debt to those who opened these doors. I better know who I am because of their struggles. And so their struggles into this uncertain future have to be mine. They have enriched my notions of what it is to be human. I can do nothing less than return the favor. “Their” struggle is mine. Countering the hatred towards “other” is on all of us.

It is normal to be different and I wish for everyone the opportunity to be accepted when they sing “I just wanna be me.”